I said goodbye to my girlfriend yesterday, we decided before this trip began that we needed to travel alone. We wanted to start traveling together to give each other that kick out the door and support in the first part of our trips. Its scary parting ways and breaking up, its easy to feel lonely, and traveling alone is harder than with someone I can trust. I just know that if I’m going to become who I need to become this challenge is going to push me towards that.
I had a blast in the first month, it was great to have someone to share experiences with and to support me when things got stressful. When I look toward my trip on my own I think it will be harder and I want that intensity to help me learn about myself. For me I need time to myself to decide how I want to be in life, its essential for me to find out who I am when I’m alone.
Easy isn’t what I’m searching for. Since I’ve reached one month of traveling I’ve become anxious about how I want the next 7 months to be. I don’t know how to feel satisfied, how to feel like what I’m doing is enough. It’s a problem I’ve had for a while and I need to delve into finding a solution or I will continue living a worthwhile life without feeling like its worth a thing. That would be a shame.